Holla!

total uniquiness

whats your mothers maiden name?: Mccoy.
what color is the room you are in?: White.
what is the sexiest part of your body?: >_>
turn around, whats the first thing that catches your eye?: the blinds.
do you like noodles?: mmmmmmm yes!
do you eat peanut butter on your pancakes?: ew, no.
do you recycle cans?: Sometimes.
how do you take your coffee?: Lots of cream & sugar; I make it light as me, lol.
what kind of can opener do you have?: Electric.
whats the longest cucumber you have ever held?: lmaoooooo.
what pattern is on your pillow case?: Purple & White checkered.
how often do you use a microwave?: Probably about 4 times a week.
whens the last time your returned something to the store & what was it?: Last week, a dress.
what color is your favorite shirt?: Black.
if you were an animal what would you be?: Giraffe
whats the last movie you watched?: Hm, Can't quite remember.
was it on tv or at the theaters?: TV.
whats the best vegetable?: Brocoli!
your stranded on an island with one cd...what would it be?: Raheem Devaughn.. or DREAMGIRLS!!!!!
what kind of cheese is in your fridge?: Pepper Jack.
what does cheese when it gets its picture taken?: Huh?
how do you feel about growing up?: Shit, I'm grown.
your favorite childhood toy?: This one computer I had.
where do you stand on the whole global warming thing?: I'm not sure.
what kind of drink is in your cup?: Water.
whats the last item of food your put in your mouth?: Boneless Buffalo Wings!
whats the closest body of water to your home?: Lake Hefner.
whats your favorite holiday?: Fourth of July.
what do you see when you look out the window?: My car, grass... so on and so forth.
do you believe in the bible?: I surely do.
are there alot of books in your house?: Yep.
what foot does your sock go on first?: Left.
diamonds or pearls? which do you prefer?: Diamonds honey.
how many tabs are open on your computer right now?: Geez, SEVEN!
what song are you singing over & over in your head?: Love Drug.
who are you thinking bout right this very moment?: _ _!
what kind of music did you listen to as a child?: Jazz, R&B, hip hop, Acapella.
how many pieces of jewelry are you wearing?: Zero.
do you prefer the country or the city?: City
how often so you clean the inside of your microwave?: Like, twice a month.
do you have a junk drawer?: Like five of them.
is your closet organized?: Pssh.
how many things are under your bed?: Atleast 15.
have you ever farted & blamed your dog?: I don't have a dog.
whats your motto for life?: Make others feel good at all times.

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Friky friky sur-vaaaaay.

Things You Actually Really Want to Know About Me

basic info
name: Brandi
what do people call you?: Brandi, Brandi B, Bee
birthday: 2/27
current location: Home.
height: Six feets :p
eye color: brown
hair color: brown
righty or lefty?: righty.
a few questions
do you believe in god?: Yes I do.
do you have a religion?: Yes I do.
do you speak another language?: Well, you can say that, kinda, lol.
do you live in the moment?: Sometimes.
do consider yourself tolerant of others?: LMAO, depends who needs to be tolerated.
are you confident?: Yes.
are you a daredevil?: Not in the slightest bit.
what is the compliment you get from most people?: "Brandi you're so nice or Brandi, you have such pretty skin"
what do you like the most about your body?: I like my skin and my shoulders.
do you think you are good looking?: Mhm.
do have any bad habits?: I sure do.
what's your biggest fear?: Don't really know how to put it in words...
do play an instrument?: Not well, but yes.
can you sing?: Mhm.
if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?: I would change how sensitive I am.
what is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: Don't judge a book by its cover.
do you think life has been good so far?: Yeah.
is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: Yes.
do you believe in love at first sight?: No.
do you kiss on first date?: Depends how good the date was lol.
do you have sex on first date?: No! Excuse me.
favourite
color: gray.
number: three.
food: popsicles, edy's sugar-free specifically.
drink: strawberry vanilla dr. pepper
alcoholic drink: *smiles.
country: USA nigga.
animal: Monkeys.
season: autumn
day of the week: I'd have to say I'm loving TUESDAYS right now ♥
name: Brandi, DUH, lol, that's a werid question.
have you ever...
been arrested?: Nope.
kissed someone of the same sex?: Nope.
done something you regret?: Yes.
smiled for no reason?: Always do that.
laughed so hard you cried?: Lmao, yes.
sang to someone for no reason?: Definitely.
talked to someone you don’t know?: Of course, how else will you meet new people?
been in love?: Well, I sure thought it was at the time, but I'm going to say the answer to that question is a NO.
broken the law?: I'm sure.
been in a car accident?: Yes.
run into a wall?: lmaoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, with the car, or with my body?
made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: yes!!
cried over a movie?: Aw, yes.
been so drunk that you cant remember?: No, ew.
stayed home from school?: Too many damn times.
been out of state?: Yep.
in the opposite sex
hair color: um? any color long as its DONE.
eye color: ... well i don't have a favorite, lol.
height: preferably someone taller than me, however, personality can make up for a few inches.
body type: athletic.
short or long hair?: either or
tattoos/piercings?: yes indeed.
hot or cute?: attractive.

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FOUND MY CAMERAAAAA!

i found my camera & a sharpie!
*dusts off the lens.
time to get back to my super fantastic handwriting:



for carmine.



for jay.


for lizzy.



for lizzy again.

Man, Today has been okay, for the most part I guess.
I'm just trying to get the hell out my house.
Aye!! Look at my godson's birthday cake:


♥ ♥ ♥

Later Peeps.

reflection.

i know i started that other blog or whatever, but this morning, i'm feeling more comfortable writing in here. i was just thinking about love and reading various blogs by various people who i mostly get from lizzy's list, lol. i was just noticing how they express their feelings of love and emotions towards their significant others or maybe a crush and the feeling always seemed to be expressed by the both of them and what im about to say is going to be a reality check for myself. i remember when i was with dave and all the sweet cute blogs i would post about him, the stats i would make for him, the pictures i took and so on and so forth, and not saying that in love everything is even, you know, or saying that i regret anything i experienced with him, but he never made those kinds of things for me, or did any public expressions of his love. a couple of times, he might have made a stat, or posted his favorite picture.. but now i guess he has this new girlfriend, and he posts all these sweet things on her myspace, he never has even commented me on myspace, lmao, and that just makes me kinda ... idk... leaves me here feeling that maybe that wasn't the best relationship i've been in like i thought, you know. maybe he just wasn't all the love that i thought he was. i'm glad that i saw his expressions of love for her. i'm glad he's expressing his damn love to her. atleast she has that. one day, i know, i'll have the love that i seek, but until that time comes, i'll focus on loving what will never leave me, myself.
Sincerely,
Bee.

good one!

45 of the most random things you probably never needed to know about someone
whats your name spelt backwards?:	idnarb
What did you do last night?:	basically went to sleep.
The last thing you downloaded onto your computer?:	a game.
Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery?:	ew, no.
Last time you swam in a pool?:	two weekends ago, and had a blast!
What are you wearing?:	white shirt, brown pants, tan jacket.
How many cars have you owned?:	one.
Type of music you dislike most?:	country.
Are you registered to vote?:	yes i am!
Do you have cable?:	nope, and i never have, sigh.
What kind of computer do you use?:	compaq presario laptop
Ever made a prank phone call?:	yep.
You like anyone right now?:	kinda.
Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?:	no.
Furthest place you ever traveled?:	um... atlanta.
What's your favorite comic strip?:	dilbert.
Do u know all the words to the national anthem?:	i think.
Shower, morning or night?:	night.
Best movie you've seen in the past month?:	the other sister.
Favorite pizza toppings?:	pineapples, chicken, green peppers.
Chips or popcorn?:	oooh, tough one; chips.
What cell phone provider do you have?:	t-mobile, holla!!!!!!!
Have you ever smoked peanut shells?:	um, wtf.
Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?:	nope.
Orange Juice or apple?:	orange.
Who were the last people you sat at lunch with?:	this lady from my church.
favorite chocolate bar?:	whichamacalit.
Who is your longest friend and how long?:	i'd have to say, marquece and i've known him seventeen years.
Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?:	years ago.
Have you ever won a trophy?:	yeah!
Favorite arcade game?:	tetris/mario.
Ever ordered from an infomercial?:	yeah, lol.
Sprite or 7-UP?:	sprite!
Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work?:	yep.
Last thing you bought at Walgreens?:	fiji water.
Ever thrown up in public?:	ew, noooo.
Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?:	finding true love with a millionaire!
Do you believe in love at first sight?:	no.
SPONGEBOB OR JIMMY NEUTRON?:	SPONGEBOB NEUTRON
Did you have long hair as a young kid?:	yes.
What message is on your voicemail machine?:	Hey this is Brandi, sorry I couldn't answer my phone, but if you leave me a message, I'll give you a call back later. Thanks. Beeeeeeeeeeeep.
Where would you like to go right now?:	to bed.
Whats the name of your pet?:	don't have one.
What kind of back pack do you have, and what's in it?:	a pink/chocolate messanger bag; pens, paper, laptop.
What do you think about most?:	my mystery man.
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sur-vaaaaaaaaaaaye

The Five Ws
WHO
Who was the first person you wanted to be like?:	my mom.
Who do you think raised you the most: your mom or dad?:	my mom.
Who have you not been completely honest with lately?:	myself.
Who is the last person in your family to die?:	um, my great aunt.
Who do you think is the most attractive person you know?:	dave.
Who are you willing to die for?:	my mom.
Who has a crush on you right now?:	i wish i knew.
Who do you want to get to know more?:	a lot of people.
Who would star as you in the movie about your life?:	myself!
Who did you go to your senior prom with?:	nyjra!!
Who is the nicest person you've ever met?:	so far, lizzy.
Who taught you how to ride a bike?:	my mommy
Who has been annoying you lately?:	nelson.
Who do you regret ever knowing?:	shit.. let's not get into that.
Who do you think will read this when you're done?:	prolly no one.
WHAT
What your bedroom's colour scheme?:	lavender walls with turquoise border.
What kind of ice do you prefer: cubed or crushed?:	crushed.
What languages do you speak fluently?:	english.
What about you sets you apart from the crowd?:	my height & i'm friendly.
What impact have you made, however big or small?:	i'm very generous with my time, i contribute to good causes with my time.
What is your favourite game show?:	wheel of fortune.
What would you most likely go to jail for?:	murder. bwahaha, nah, i'd only go to jail, to visit someone.
What is the first thing you do with your paycheck?:	cash or deposit it.
What kind of house do you live in?:	a two story townhome.
What are you most uncomfortable with about yourself?:	i have self-respect issues sometimes.
What's the first thing that you notice about someone?:	smile.
What celebrity do people tell you that you look like?:	none really.
What is the first thing you do when you wake up?:	pull the covers back on me.
What's one thing people people would never expect you to do?:	get pregnant before marriage.
What do you hope to accomplish in your lifetime?:	college degree, successful marriage, one or two babies, live an accomplished life.
WHEN
When did you lose your first tooth?:	snap, i don't remember.
When did you lose your virginity?:	haven't yet.
When is the last time you puked?:	like a year ago.
When do you want to get married?:	in about, 2011 or 2012.
When do you think you'll die?:	in like around 2070. lmaoooo.
When is the appropriate time to bring up bad news?:	when you're already in a bad mood.
When will you be able to drink alcohol legally?:	next year baby!
When was the last time you visited a doctor?:	last month.
When is it the easiest for you to fall asleep?:	when its raining or storming.
When do you usually wake up?:	around six.
When will pigs fly?:	when they grow wings.
When did you take Algebra 1 -- and pass?:	in the tenth grade.
When did you start learning about puberty?:	fourth grade period video.
When is your parents' anniversarry?:	oops, not married.
When did you get tired of answering these questions?:	i haven't!
WHERE
Where were you when the first 9/11 attacks happened?:	at school.
Where did you have your first kiss?:	=D
Where do you feel the most comfortable?:	in my bed.
Where is the last place you found something you'd lost?:	in my closet.
Where do you like to go for fun?:	to friend's homes.
Where would you take someone for a first date?:	dinner & a walk.
Where do you refuse to go?:	hm, good question.
Where do you keep the things you don't want people to find?:	under my bed
Where is the party usually at?:	white folks houses.
Where is the perfect place to get to know someone?:	a quiet setting.
Where is the last place you broke up with someone?:	no commento.
Where do you wish you lived?:	texas
Where was your secret hiding spot as a kid?:	closet.
Where did or do you go to school?:	Oklahoma State University in OKC.
Where are you going after this?:	home.
WHY
Why are you in the position that you're in?:	because i can't find anything i like to do.
Why would you give someone five dollars?:	because they needed it.
Why are you taking this survey?:	because i want to.
Why aren't you out doing something else?:	because there's nothing else i want to do.
Why are gas prices so high?:	because the government is up to no good!!
Why is the sky blue?:	because that's the color God decided to make it.
Why do you think JFK was assassinated?:	to cause an uproar.
Why would anyone go out of their way to please someone?:	because they're a good person.
Why are you on MySpace?:	because I like to catch up with old friends.
Why do or don't you like the current president?:	because he is a bit off...
Why do you cry at movies?:	because they touch my insides.
Why would you fall in love with someone?:	because he loved me for me
Why do you talk the way you do?:	because i do, lol
Why are you single (or taken)?:	single, because, that's just how it has to be for now.
Why are you happy to be done?:	i'm not! =[
Take this survey | Find more surveys Bzoink - The Original Survey Site

quizarino.

Random but Realistic
About You
What is your favorite color?:	black.
Has your favorite color changed in the past few years?:	indeed.
Do you have any gauged piercings?:	ew, nose.
Do you have freckles? If so, where?:	on my cheeks.
What is your favorite brand of soda?:	barq's root beer.
What is your favorite character from any kids movie?:	the big blue monster on monster's inc.
When was the last time you had a b/f or g/f?:	siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.
Have you ever accidentally microwaved tupperware?:	nope.
Do you have any posters up in your room?:	yep.
What is/was your favorite tv show?:	hm, i'd have to say the news.
Do you like milkshakes?:	i sure do, especially when they are 99 cents at sonic!
Do you have any scars on your legs?:	yeah.
How often do you shave your legs/face/whatever you shave?:	when it needs it.
What stores do you usually shop at?:	old navy, and others.
Do you like tomato juice?:	i've never tried it.
What do you think about the new colors for iPods?:	i think they're pretty.
Have you ever had a pet with worms?:	no. i've never had a pet.
How many bed comforters have you had in the past year?:	one.
Have you ever accidentally put something valuable in a washer?:	yes!
Is there something important to you that is stuck under the fridge?:	nope.
Have you ever discussed something sexual with a friend?:	yes.
What are the ethnicities of your friends?:	black, white, asian, messican.
Can you afford satellite/cable?:	sometimes.
Do you have a favorite pair of socks?:	yes!!!
Have you ever been confused by a Spanish/English dictionary?:	lmao, hell yes.
Do you prefer regular kleenex or kleenex with aloe vera?:	the latter, or the ones with lotion.
What's your favorite brand of water?:	h20klahoma.
Do you ever change the laces on your shoes?:	nah.
Have you ever wished that you worked at Toys 'R Us?:	like probably when i was twelve
Do you like late night talk shows?:	yeah, jay leno.
Do you use that fancy glossy paper to print pictures?:	i don't print.
Have you ever known anybody with a pager?:	lmaoooo, yeah.
Do you enjoy writing with gel pens?:	i sure do.
Where is your favorite person/people in the world?:	Myself.
How do you feel about names like Nina, Regina, Tina, Corina, etc.?:	I don't feel good about them.
What is your favorite kind of seed to eat?:	Sunflower.
Did you ever own a Tickle Me Elmo?:	ew, no.
Have you ever tried dog treats?:	ew, NO!
Do you think that best buy is overpriced?:	i don't go in there.
How do you like your doughnuts?:	with sprinkles.
How many pairs of headphones have you bought in the past year?:	like three.
Does your family have fine china that's only used on special occasions?:	no.
Have you ever seen a red highlighter?(they do exist):	no!
What's the most creative thing you've ever made with post-its?:	a sign.
Do you get annoyed by those Head On commercials?:	yes i do.
Have you ever made tea and the little bag busted?:	yes i have. =(
What color is your toilet?:	white.
Wide or college ruled paper?:	college ruled all the way.
Have you ever gone to a different area and people commented on your accent?:	totally.
Do you need to go to the bathroom right away in the morning?:	most of the time.
Do you have cool sunglasses?:	yes, when i don't lose them.
Type a lyric from any random song.:	everyday im hustlin'
How do you feel about the greeters at WalMart?:	i like them.
What is your favorite flavor of jello?:	scrawberry.
How do you feel about all the fat kids in America?:	i feel sad. i blame t.v.
Do you prefer gold or silver jewelry?:	gold.
Are you good at baking?:	yes i sure am.
Is the grass in your yard green like it should be?:	looks outside, yes.
Did you enjoy this survey?:	yes, i did.
Take this survey Find more surveys Bzoink - The Original Survey Site

its early.

good morning, people who never read my blog.
i sometimes wonder who really reads it.
i know i'm all up in everyones. :ninja:
its very interesting to see who everyone is.
majority of them act like they blog,
but others... can't quite say the same.

anyhoo, i heard from him in a roundabout way yesterday.
i've waited two months to hear from him.
TWO MOTHERFUCKING MONTHS.
& you know what, it still made me cry.

my friend decided to hit him up, and this is what he said:

i sent her a very long email awhile ago. i just didnt say anything since .. it made no sense to keep responding .. i just let it go so she can move on .. tough love is the best love sometimes... She's my baby forever but she needs more than I can give ..

I really don't know how to feel about that. I never received the email, and I hope he's willing to send it again, so I could get some sense of closure. I guess that's a nice thing for him to say. I know I can be a bit much, and I guess maybe that overwhelmed him. Maybe if he would've brought it up, things could've gotten better. But, I was doing so good, until she showed me that.
I had deleted pictures of him, old texts, making decent progress, then yesterday, it just.. i kinda just lost all that. I read the old messages, and everything. I think I'm going to write a poem.

Well, good morning ya'll.

smh.

i sent this gm today


dearest everyone, i'm going through a hard time in my life, where a smile isn't healing shit. the wounds are much deeper than i've felt in a long time. i've been counting, and i've cried everyday since april 19th. i'm sick of being unhappy, i'm sick of wishing for a better tomorrow, and ending up with a fucked up today. love was my answer to everything, but i must have all the wrong questions, because love isn't doing a damn thing for me right now. i'm sorry about this gm. please go on about your business. smile for me today, alright. B*

fucking pathetic. i wish i could just turn my heart off, and move on.. but when you give everything, you're left with nothing. so i'm walking around empty-handed and heavy-hearted.

thinking.

i'm just sitting here, thinking.
i miss my relationship. i love knowing that someone loves me, you know?
it's just a really good feeling. knowing that I make someone feel cared about
and that they care for me in return. pleasing someone by just being myself,
not worrying about if they are going to like me tomorrow... I miss the
pure security of knowing that loving him is enough. To me, love is enough to
cure anything. I love him more than I think I've loved anyone before. I
don't understand how my feelings for him are so pure and unaltered,
I wake up thinking about him, I go to sleep dreaming of him, I have him,
but I want him. He's a very big part of me. Truth be told he is my best friend.
Things haven't been going the way I want them to be going lately. I haven't
heard from him in two weeks. Two weeks without him is a long time, TWO DAYS
WITHOUT HIM IS A LONG TIME. I'm not sure what to do. The first few days,
I flooded him with calls and texts and things of that nature. The next days, I kinda
just tried to give him his space. I'm sitting here, alone, missing his voice and his
conversation. Craving his companionship, simply wanting recognition from him.
I love loving him. It gives me a sense of stability. Since we've been together,
even before we got together, I knew that he needs to be a part of my life,
I didn't expect for him to be such a huge part, but it is what it is. He's become a
part of my heart, and despite him not contacting me for these few days, my heart
doesn't comprehend that. My heart knows loving him, and how do I turn that function off?
I don't even want to have a day without loving him. Its what I do now. I know that may
sound all kinds of messed up, but that's just how I feel. I'm not sure what's going on in
his heart or mind. I'm not sure what he wants from me. Maybe he's trying to show me
that maybe we need a break or something. I wish he would tell me with his words, I
need words. I don't want to assume the end, if its still the beginning. I'm not ready for this to be over. Its not just a relationship, its a friendship too. How do I stop loving my best friend?
I just ... I don't know what to do but cry....

crying.

sometimes crying just feels good.
i'm not trying to cry, it just kinda pours out from my eyes.
i wrote him an email; i hope that he responds.
you know, love is hard sometimes.
its not fair to measure what you do to express your emotions
by compairing to what your mate does to express theirs.
took me awhile to figure that out.

well, i don't really have much more to say right now.
i think i'll go lay down a bit.
*takes a tissue.

later ya'll.

mun-dee.

well, im feeling all kinds of lonely.
i think i'm having withdrawals.
last call from him : tuesday.
last text from him: thursday.
and we aren't even fighting this time, lol.

i totally miss my boyfriend.
-sigh.

i was on facebook, which i am currently considering deleting,
because facebook destroys lives, lmao.

but like i don't talk about offline that much,
but r.i.p. to the friendship of me and my ex-best friend.
it was going a good five years strong.

i can't say i'm sure about what fucked it up, but i think it was
because of a guy, and not to offend any men, but you all
should never be the cause of losing a good friend; neither
should females. anyone who ends a friendship because
of someone else is a loser.

she just stopped returning my calls, texts, tags.
we had only one fight during our entire friendship.
she still hasn't told me the reason, but i do know this:

if she can move on without me, as if the friendship
didn't exist, please believe i'm not going to be mourning
the loss outside of this only blog. i love her, but i am
no one's bitch. i hope she might speak one day,
but i ain't holding my breath on it.

aye CARMINE, your girlfriend commented my bloggggg.
*shreeks with excitement. <3
lmao.

*composes my self. have a lovely day everyone.
sincerely,
braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaandiiiiiiiiiiiii.

good merning.

No one reads my blog,
but I want to say good morning to everyone.
Aren't we all lucky to have awaken this morning, despite what may be troubling us.
Its a wonderful feeling knowing that you have another day, to start over and make things right.
Anyways,
I got a new phone yesterday.
An LG Rumor.
Its green, for the environment.
How cool is that?
I feel like a loser today, lol. smh.
I have these "friends" right, that I don't even know why they're still part of my life.
Honestly, I only understand a few people's purposes in my life.
I guess I won't truly understand anyone else until I understand myself.
I do know that it feels so good not being anyone's bitch.
Making my own decisions, maturing, figuring out who I am. I'm loving it.
I read some of you niggas blogs this morning, I'd like to point out a few things, lmao.

Shanell- I also save all texts & Voicemails, and to be more specific I listen to the voicemails, everyday. Is that bad? I'm not sure, but I enjoy it.

Jay- You have a very interesting blog. I'm glad you didn't eat the tomatoes and die, because I would've been really upset. I like to check up on you sometimes homie. Seems like you're doing things with your life and really being yourself, that's always a good thing. Lol @ the fragrance being called Arrogance, who'd thunk it?

Drey- Nigga, I don't know who "bae" is this time, but I still like reading your blog lol. You be having super moodswings.

Kimi, Ellie- Yall bitches need to blog. You're talking up blogger space for no apparent reason.

Carmine- Blah, I don't read your blog, I do read your girlfriends blog though, and I get mad as hell when you write it. I even roll my eyes, lol. Lizzy seems very sweet though. I'm glad you had a sweetie pie Carmine, with your mean pizza making self.

Davon- *Yawn. That's how I feel about your blog and your life, since you don't even IM me anymore. How about those apples?

I doubt any of you niggas will ever see this anyways. My link is on like two of the previously mentioned blogs, not including Kimi & Ellie's because their blogs suck. With all this being said,
you all have a lovely day, okay? Okay.

well, why not?

its friday night,
a little after nine.
i'm sitting here thinking about my crazy ass week
& my crazy ass life. I'm surprised my head hasn't blown off yet.
I'm gonna go back to hmm.. about 18 years ago, so you can understand.
My father, I call him father because he helped my mother make me, I would call him daddy, but I think that's an affectionate term that you use for someone after you've built a relationship that I just haven't quite built yet. My "father" has been going back and forth to prison ever since i was 2 years old. The first time he went, he didn't get out until I was 12, and I marked the date on my calendar, my friends and classmates knew the day he was coming out. So the day came, he got out, got a girlfriend, got to know her family, forgot about me, got back in his bad company and went right back to jail when I was 13. Then he gets back out off and on, I'm getting older now, So I'm not as excited. The only time since I've been older that I got excited was when he was there for graduation, simply because graduation is exciting for everyone. I was glad he was there, only for his ass to go back to jail again. Now he's out. Now I'm grown for real. I picked him up from the bus station, I let him in my grandmother's house, I took him to DHS. I've been his lil chaffeur *sp*. HE needs me now because my granny is in the nursing home and he can't lean on her for everything. SO finally he needs me. I don't want to be needed because I'm the only option available. That's the story of my pathetic ass life. Everyone thinks I need them for a certain reason. I'm a lot stronger than people think. So what I'm sensitive and quick to show my emotion? I'd rather be that way, then like half the niggas you didn't know could cry until they on they death bed telling you everything they regret. I don't feel that I need to have a "father-daughter" relationship with him. I'm not sure how possible that is. I have a very big heart, I have forgiven people for things you cannot imagine, so I know its in me and I do forgive him. But I don't understand or comprehend a lot of this. I don't know why everything should just be okay and we should become bff's just because he's finally trying. Fuck all that. Where was he my whole life? If you can help me figure that out, then maybe you can help me find the direction I really need to go. I have all this shit to think about: Father out of jail, me going to the e.r. yesterday, grandmother living in the nursing home, me being kicked out of school, financially struggling at home, haven't talked to my boyfriend in three days, and I'm just supposed to smile and be everyone else's shoulder because that's what they're used to? I need to lean on someone right now. I need to be here for myself...

happy birthday!

Yay,
its my baby's birthday.
I just wanted to take this time to say Happy Birthday Papi.
Sorry I have been such a "cayo". I hope you have a great day
and I hope you have many more birthdays to come. I love you,
and I'll talk to you later honey.
Besos,

Babygirl.

alone.

I haven't talked to Dave in a few days now, and I know, blah blah complaining about a few days, but its hard to be without the one you love. I really hope I don't sound or seem like a baby, or a crazy girlfriend or anything, being sad that its been a few days. Idk how to control my emotions, I'm working on it, but I still haven't mastered it. I know that he is busy or atleast he's always busy and he has many things to attend to and that is fine. I'm still going to be right here waiting for him when he finishes. But, I wish he would just let me know that he's okay. I really want to call and just say, baby, I konw that you are probably sick of my texts and shit, but I just had to hear for myself that you are okay. I just want to hear the sound of your voice and hear you breathe. Just to hear you breathe, that would be enough for me. If you got mad and cursed me out and hung up in my face for calling, just to get some response from you on the other end would be all that I need. But, that... that just seems as far away as the moon. Maybe you're trying to toughen me up, maybe you're trying to teach me a lesson, maybe you just need some time for youself; All of that is understandable. I'm a strong girl, with a weak heart... and I let my heart beat my brain a lot of times. I just miss my baby. . .

monday.

I haven't blogged in awhile.
I have been in so much pain.
the kind of "Lord please take me now pain" that I wouldn't wish on anyone.
I think i'm going to call in at work today...
I really need the money, but I don't think I can make it in.
**************************************************
I had an amazing evening/night/morning with my baby.
atleast I have him to look forward to.
When everything's going array, he's always there to make my day.
As cheesy as that may sound, its the most amazing feeling in the world.
I'm really getting used to this love thing. [=

Later people who probably never read my blog because I'm not very interesting and I all I do is talk about love, Dave, and loving Dave.
LOL.

Im out!

thursday.

Today is Thursday and I love Dave.
Tomorrow will be Friday, and I will still love Dave.
I don't think there will be a day where I won't love him anymore.
My baby has been working so hard these past few days & I've been missing
him, but getting his work done and taking care of his home is very important.
I'm tired. I've been out of it all week. I think I have some internal issues going on.
But blah, I'd rather think about the good things.
New job, spring break is almost here, the weather is beautiful and Dave is on my mind.

Hope you all are having a day as lovely as mine. :p
-Bee

him.

you know how you write a poem, or have an idea or fantasy, that you would like someday to complete, we'll i originally wrote this poem with that intention. but now, that Dave is in my life, no more mystery man, or me waiting around for "him"
because he's right here! -listens to the song on my page & blushes.

enjoy the poem guys.

i ask him to stroke my ego without taking the time
to realize how much he compliments my mind,
by opening up his ears and listening to my heart, he's pulling me apart
and examining me from within and things are just so right with him.
its like he can tell by the tone in my voice when i've made a bad choice,
or by the way that i sigh i need to cry or by my sweet silence
that i'm thinking about him and for a moment i realize how amazing he is.
i don't have to say you're so fine or damn those lips
he knows how i feel without me saying it
and i know it may sound silly or cliche, i could talk to him all day everyday anytime of day. i can say anything i want to say
and he will always help me out without a doubt i want to shout from the top of my lungs, Lord i think i've found the one,but i don't even have to do that, its a known fact,
so i handle us with care, knowing that if we ever go there it will be so great, you are worth the wait.
you are worth the wait, you are so great.
you remind me of your flaws & despite them all i can't see, how anything is wrong with you. all i see is YOU. nothing to look past, i forget your past i let the bad go because i know you need me too. you need me for you& i'm here for you.
no matter what we go through, no matter if you need some space, like i said you're worth the wait.
you respect my mind, heart and soul, i let go of the wheel & you took control and as we drive down this path, i close my eyes & take a breath,
i feel the tears roll down my cheek, i close my mouth and let you speak.
you make me weak, but feel so strong, nothing with you is ever wrong and even now as i write this verse, i can't run out of words to let you know how you make me feel.
thank you for making love real.

Sincerely,
Your Babygirl ♥

last day.

Today is Friday!
It's my last day at this job.
(I always, always have another job waiting. I have to keep my money steady)
Anyways,
I had the best time talking to my papi today.
We haven't talked on the phone, I want to say since Monday.
Whew lawd, I don't know how I'm staying sane without him.
He means the world to me, and I know I'm pretty high on his totem pole.
We were talking about how much something cost, and he's like you're worth it!
HE always validates me. I know that doesn't seem like much, but I never have to wonder if he missed me or if he's thinking of me; he lets me know.
I swear that if you asked me about love, I'd be so sure I knew what it was but now,
I UNDERSTAND WHAT LOVE IS. All because of him.
He makes me love.
Oh and it feels so good.
-Bee

miercoles.

today is wednesday.
i'm talking to Davon,
we are having fun, til he smiles.
ugh, ask lots of people, i hate that smiley ":)"
i mean D has only been my friend for like a week now,
so i guess i can cut him some slack.
im supposed to call and sing him "Oklahoma" tonight.
lmaooooo. i bet he's all excited and what not.
i mean i do have that super country voice that i'm going to spring on him tonight.
lil sucker better like it dang it!

survey again.

Something Different, I promise!
Here we go
What's the last thing you put in your mouth?:	water
What's the last food item you touched?:	waffles
Who ticked you off last and why?:	bitch ass aunt mary, cuz she's mean.
What would you change about your special someone?:	the way he says things sometimes
What is your worst habit?:	procrastinating
Do you make fun of people who are different than you? Be honest.:	YES
What's the best news you've gotten recently?:	I got a new job!
The worst?:	granny has to go to a nursing home
You have $200 to blow...what do you spend it on?:	whatever i want
One month to live...What do you do?:	honestly don't know..
Who do you call first with any kind of news?:	Dave
And then you call?:	Mom
Who knows the most about you?:	Myself
What makes you absolutely livid?:	when people are mistreated
U can only have one makeup item, what is it?:	lip gloss
What's the last thing you dressed up for?:	Church
What tv show are you embarrassed to admit you watch?:	those old 80s sitcoms..
What band you're embarrassed to listen to?:	none really
What's you're favorite ice cream place and what do u get there?:	Braums, Strawberry Shortcake Sundae
When you're in a store and see this person, you try to not get noticed...:	i duck..
The dumbest thing you've done lately is...:	this damn survey
The dumbest thing you've seen someone else do lately?:	lmao
If someone gave u a coloring book and crayons you would...:	color, duh!
Favorite Disney character?:	hmm, that's a good one
Favorite Disney movie?:	The Little Mermaid/The Lion King
My dream dinner party would be with...:	my honey... that's good enough for me
I would serve _____as the meal.:	chicken, lmao
And after dinner ________....:	NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!
Last thing someone bought for you?:	wheel cover
Someone pranks you...your first guess as to who it is?:	pssh, i wish someone would prank me
The last person you called a name was?:	Dave
How do you want to be remembered?:	As a nice girl
Take this survey | Find more surveys Bzoink - The Original Survey Site

survey dos

really really good random
3 things you wear every day::	glasses, earrings, and a smile
Have you ever thrown things at cars?:	heck nah
What did you throw?:	nothing!
Do you have a cell phone?:	i sure do
Last 4 digits are..:	6512
Boyfriend or friends?:	Boyfriend
Have you ever been hit on by an much older member of the opposite sex?:	YESSS INDEEEEEEEEEEEED
would you ever propose to a guy?:	yep, no shame in my game.
Whats your favorite thing to do in the summer?:	wear flip-flops
What would you do if a little kid came up to you,kicked you, and ran away?:	be surprised
Do you keep things you do in your relationships secret or public?:	secret
Are you ok with PDA?:	yeah
Do you like camping?:	ew, no.
Do you like Aretha Franklin?:	sometiems
Have you ever went streaking?:	nope
Are you a people person?:	yeah
what is the funniest name you have ever heard?:	lmaooooo, i can't remember now, but this ghetto girl on maury
Do you smoke?:	ew no
drink?:	sometimes
what is on the walls of your bedroom?:	paint!
have you ever played ddr?:	nope
ever watch the O.C?:	yessir
Do you follow the show American Idol?:	if im bored
Like the band Train?:	no
favorite song by them?:	----
mom or dad?:	mom
would you say you are modest?:	yeah... when i want to be
like to share?:	i sure do.
how much makeup do you wear?:	lip gloss, when i feel like it, mascara
do you wash your face before you go to bed?:	no
bite your nails?:	sometimes
like to do provocative dance moves?:	oh yeaaaaah
ever wash your hair in another place other than the shower or bath tub?:	um, nope
is the word love abused?:	yes
think pickup lines are dumb and no one used them in real life?:	i kinda like them, lmao
how many siblings do you have?:	ZERO
how often do you brush your teeth?:	everyday
what do you want to be when you grow up?:	successful
Ever go out dancing?:	sometimes
Can you say no to people?:	yeah, its a struggle
ever sneak out?:	no
embarrasing moment?:	lots.
i love you..:	daddy <3
do you like rap:	yeah
do you paint your nails often?:	nope
Take this survey | Find more surveys Bzoink - The Original Survey Site

survey #1

ABC of Me
The Letter A
Are you available?:	Not in the slightest
What is your age?:	Twenty.
What annoys you?:	Lots of things.
The Letter B
Do you live in a big house?:	Not really
When is your birthday?:	February 27th
Who is your best friend?:	Dave
The Letter C
What's your favorite candy?:	Twizzlers
Who's your crush?:	Dave
When was the last time you cried?:	Early this morning
The Letter D
Do you daydream?:	Everyday
What's your favorite kind of dog?:	um... idk
What day of the week is it?:	Monday
The Letter E
How do you like your eggs?:	I don't like eggs!
Have you ever been in the emergency room?:	Yes.
What's the easiest thing ever to do?:	Love
The Letter F
Have you ever flown in a plane?:	Yep
Do you use fly swatters?:	Yeah, when I can find one
Have you ever used a foghorn?:	No, lol
The Letter G
Do you chew gum?:	Yessir
Are you a giver or a taker?:	Giver/Taker
Do you like gummy candies?:	Yes, especially those lil burger ones
The Letter H
How are you?:	I'm okay right now.
What color is your hair?:	Brownish.. something lol
The Letter I
What's your favorite ice cream?:	Vanilla
Have you ever ice skated?:	Yep!
Do you play an instrument?:	Kinda the piano
The Letter J
What's your favorite jelly bean brand?:	ew don't have one.
Do you wear jewelry?:	earrings and necklaces
The Letter K
Who do you want to kill?:	SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIT....
Do you want kids?:	Not really.
Where did you go for kindergarten?:	Putnam City Central Elementary School
The Letter L
Are you laid back?:	Yes.
Do you lie?:	Yes.
The Letter M
Whats your favorite movie?:	Waterboy
Do you still watch Disney movies?:	Sometimes
Do you like mangos?:	Yeah
The Letter N
Do you have a nickname?:	Yes, Bee
What is your real name?:	Brandi
Whats your favorite number?:	seventeen
Do you prefer night over day?:	yes, very much so at that.
The Letter O
What's your one wish?:	To become successful
Are you an only child?:	Actually, yes
The Letter P
What one fear are you most paranoid about?:	Losing a love one
What are your pet peeves?:	Too many to name.
What's a personality trait you look for in people?:	Compassion
The Letter Q
What's your favorite quote?:	" I am sick sick sick of your shit"
Are you quick to judge people?:	Sometimes.
The Letter R
Do you think you're always right?:	Not at all
Are you one to cry?:	Too much
The Letter S
Do you prefer sun or rain?:	Rain
Do you like snow?:	Not at all
What's your favorite season?:	Spring
The Letter T
What time is it?:	10:17 A.M.
What time did you wake up?:	6:35
When was the last time you slept in a tent?:	Never..
The Letter U
Are you wearing underwear?:	Yeah
Underwear or boxers?:	Underwear
The Letter V
What's the worst veggie?:	Peas
Where do you want to go on vacation?:	Anywhere with Dave
The Letter W
What's your worst habit?:	feeling sorry for myself
Where do you live?:	Oklahoma City
What's your worst fear?:	Losing someone I love
The Letter X
Have you ever had an x-ray?:	Yeah.
Have you seen the x-games?:	yeah
Do you own a xylophone?:	no
The Letter Y
Do you like the color yellow?:	I sure do.
What's one thing you yearn for?:	Dave.
The Letter Z
Whats your zodiac sign?:	Pisces.
Do you believe in the zodiac?:	Not really
Favorite zoo animal?:	Hm... Have no idea.
Take this survey | Find more surveys Bzoink - The Original Survey Site

today.

you know,
i knew that i loved Dave,
but DAMN, i didn't know how much.
i love my baby.
i wish i could put it on the front page of the new york times,
Brandi Browne Loves Dave Alexander.
Extra MOTHERFUCKING Extra.
REAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD ALL ABOUT IT.

i just had to get that off my chest.
i'll be going to do other things now, okay.

oh yeah, i love nells. i'm glad she's back in my y! box, carmine pretty good peoples, Jay.. that guy has a really good head on his shoulders, and Davon.. he's funny, and just like a black man, ALWAYS HUNGRY.

payce though <3

twenty!!

its official, no more teenager!
hollaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
its about time, lol.
i do feel a bit growner (is that a word?)
lots of things have gone on this year to make me grow up mentally.
i can't cry about every little thing anymore, i can't depend on anyone
but myself & the Lord.
i'm about to have a lot more responsibility than i'm used to, but its
come just at the right time.
anyways,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR BRANDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!!!!!

and the first person i talked to today was my babycakes, honeybun ♥.
i love him.

*going to eat my hot pink cupcakes now.

THIS ONE IS FOR MY BOOSAUCE, NELLS. ♥

bbl

hot fun.

Go to Pogo to play 100s of Fun Games!

ah shit!!!

about time.

well my birthday is next week & i'm looking forward to it.
my granny is sick; that's really getting to me.
i kinda miss my old friends, but most of them aren't about shit anyways.
i wish i wasn't so nosy, lol. guess that's a symptom of being an only child.
i hate school, but i have to learn?
glad i'm working, i love the money.
countdown to spring break with my baby, eighteen days and counting. . .

daddy.

if you would just listen, this is what i would say:

baby,
i've said sorry too much in the short amount of time,
it just seems to be the first word that comes to my mind.
you make me very happy, keep a smile on my face, you
leave messages, that i will never erase.
you listen when i'm sad, when i'm angry, when i cry,
you respect how i feel, you never ask why.
me on the other hand, i do pretty good most of the time,
send you pics, little messages and say things that are kind.
i give you my support, my heart and my love,
give you time if you want it and never anything above,
our time together which you do the same, but i seem to forget
that and it causes you pain. it makes you hurt, but you
express it another way, you get mad and you do this thing
where you don't say anything to me for a few days, or if i beg
enough and you give in you'll never let me forget, all the shit,
i did to cause all of this. i'm sorry if i come off stingy or if i don't
seem to care about all that you do, i'm sorry if i complain alot
and seem like i check up on you. i'm sorry that i call so much
and text like i'm crazy, or try to see who you're talking to daily.
its not all about me, despite the way i come across and you are
just too good, we're too good to have any love lost. i know what
needs to be fixed, i'm working on it, i'm here, waiting and willing,
anxiously. trying a little more each day, wishing i could do it more
patiently, but you mean just that much to me, that i wish everyday
could be, one where that you and i spent happily. .
baby, come on back to me.

friday.

today is friday,-
a lonely friday.
another day without my baby.
he's been mad for what, like three days or something now.
i don't know.
everyday that we don't talk, just makes time go on forever.
* if he would just give me the chance to tell him whats on my
mind and the chance to listen, and the chance to just,
-sigh
be his babygirl and give him the respect, privacy, space he needs.
come on baby.
i'm waiting. . .