friday.

today is friday.
i'm reflecting back on thursday for a moment.
* my friend, one of the people i truly love, tried to take his life yesterday.
i pleaded and begged and cried and cursed and yelled and just tried to
make him stop. i didn't want him to go on with it, but if that's what he
truly felt would make him happy, who am i to stop him? i mean i'm so
glad that he didn't go on with it, but for him to live because i want him
to is not reason enough. he's got to want that with his everything. the
Lord didn't let him go, so obviously there is more planned for him.
i'm so relieved.

daddy isn't talking to me. i'm not sure what happened this time.
whatever went down, i'm sure i took the blame for it. i always take
the blame for it. if he cursed me out, hit me and called me out of
my name, i'd apologize and take the blame for it. i want love so badly,
i'm mistaking it for .. hell i don't know. i love that man, i know i do.
i know he must love me, he wouldn't say something that he doesn't mean.
but i think about the amount of time that dedicate to one another, the
efforts that we make to communicate, all the different aspects of our
relationship, and i'm tired. i'm tired of loving him so much, and not loving
myself as much as i love him. i'm tired of "baby, i'm sorry". i'm going to
stop being sorry for being myself. if he loves me, he'll love all of me and if
he can't do that, no matter how much it will hurt, i'll have to let him go.
i hope and pray that it doesn't come to that, but if it does, i'll just have to
be the strong person that i know i am. i hope he doesn't read this, but if he
does, baby... let's make everything okay again <3

i'm going to go now.
later bloggers.
-heartbroken.

december!!

december is here,
its my favorite time of year.
*blow dust off keyboard.

i haven't blogged in a long time,
mainly because i have been sick
and i haven't been up to typing about
how bad i was feeling and etc.

things are going all kinds of ways with me.
daddy and i are doing wonderfully <3
i'm listenin to christmas carols like nonstop.
i'm trying to make some moves and get things
taken care of. i just don't know what direction
i'm trying to go. =\

bbl, blogspot.
-bee.

sunday.

hello everyone.

today is sunday.

i feel a rumble in the jungle, lol.



i just downloaded TEN Christmas songs.

i'm sitting here talking to Liyahery.

that young lady has a pretty good head on her shoulders.

she is always real, one hundred percent no fronting.

i love that about her.



i miss my baby.

just him being my baby.

i don't know what the future holds,

but i hope everything works out for the best.

i really truly care for him.

i wasn't even trying to fall for anyone or

give my heart to anyone and then he came

along. so there has to be some reason he's in

my life, i just hope i figure it out before i lose him.



well enough of this.

*listens to baby, its cold outside.

night yall.

-babygirl?

christmas !!!

well i'm not sure how many of you know this or care to know,

but i LOVE christmas carols, lmao, christmas songs, things of that nature.

they just make me smile a bit more, and tend to pep me up a bit.

*sings*

chesnuts roasting on an open fireee, jack frost nipping at your nose

on the first day of christmas, my true love gave to meeee

hark the harold angels siiiing, glory to the new born king

feliz navidad, feliz navidad, feliz navidad, prospero ano y felicidad.

:p

lmao. i just love c h r i s t m a s c a r o l s.

yall tune into music.aol.radio/holiday.

you won't be disappointed.

-santa's little helper.

well

we made up.
so i'm gonna go think about some things.
feel like there's some work i need to do.
i do know this, i'm going to stop settling
for second best. i deserve to receive as
much as i give, and i give way too
motherfucking much in the first place.

so i'm going to go demise a plan on how
i can fix that, and other things that need
some repairs in my life. hopefully i will
have a great day tomorrow, if i don't
everyday is a new chance to do so.

good night blogspot,
brandi.

idk =\

maybe i should sign off,
so i won't ruin anyone elses day.
i hate to upset him i really do.
its like, as soon as i say how or what i feel,
i realize that i'm going to piss him off.
i hate pissing him off.
i prefer making him happy.

saturday.

today is saturday.
friday was a better day.
i'm really not enjoying today.
well i did have fun with daddy earlier,
but now we're talking and i mean
we're not really fighting but i'm
prolly getting on his nerves.
i hope i'm not.
i wouldn't be suprised though lol.
well, i'm not in the mood to
just type about my baby anymore.

noviembre.

beginning of a new month,
its my favorite season.
i'm a happy girl.
i have fewer messes to clean up this month
and i really like that.
i'm goin home now.
later blogger.

♥ daddy's girl.

daddy.

just want you to know im thinking about you.

i just talked to you but i miss you.

i'm already wondering when you're coming back.

i got it bad, i know.

but i like it.

i'm officially a daddy's girl.

♥

wednesday.

this blog is very specific, but shall remain anonymous
actually i shouldn't even write about it, so i'm just going
to explain my feelings.

a friend of mine told me a lot of things about himself today.
i can honestly say that i adore him. he's always well almost
always there for me to talk to. we talk about everything
but he was hiding something for so long, that i never knew
and i now that i know, i'm not even sure what to feel.

its almost like a slap in the face, him keeping this from me
like he couldn't tell me. i understand why he didn't. he
doesn't think he can trust me, but he let me in today and
that feels really good. so i would like to write this to him,

Hey you,
Thank you for trusting me.
Thank you for opening up to me.
I'm upset that you kept this from me,
but its not my life its yours, so I understand.
I wish maybe I would've known things,
so I could've helped you feel better
or tried to cheer you up, but I just have
to accept that you kept this to yourself.
We probably won't have any conversations
regarding this, I understand that too.
It makes me so utterly uncomfortable to even
ask you any questions pertaining to this.
I'm hurting because I guess I thought more
of our friendship. But now that I know the
things you're going through, no wonder you
have been more distant. I won't judge you,
I still care for you, I'm still here for you, it
just might take me some time. I guess you are
the person that I thought I knew, I just have to
convence myself of that. I'm sorry <3

trick or treat.

yay, today is halloween.
we brought treats to school today, lmao.
im gonna have to jack some little kids for their candies.
^_^

anyhoo,
i'm just having a good day.
i'm talking to my baby, i don't know what's gotten into him.
i asked if i could sleep in his bed, he told me i have to wait
until i go to the doctor, lmao. then offered me a sleeping bag.
smh.
he's lucky he's my baby.
^_^

still tueday.

im just in the mood to blog for some reason.
the only people that i have really been talking
to lately though, are ellie, marcus, J and daddy.
i'm not really interested in conversing with
anyone extra right now.
honestly, i don't even enjoy talking to people
anymore. all i can think about is, when is some
shit going to go down, how is this person going
to stab me in the back, when is this person going
to start treating me like shit, so on and so forth.

i guess i've finally started treating people how they
treat me. i used to be all "zomg hey how are you :X"
but now im just more , "whatup" oh okay. bye.

i must admit i like being short and sweet with the
conversation. maybe i might be meaner than i thought
i was lolll. im still convenced people think im a bitch
because i tell the truth, then i just say fuck it.
i can't worry about all the consequences that come
with me making a mistake. lots of this shit isn't even
in the slightest bit serious. i know when something
shouldn't be taken lightly. but if all i know is a font,
i'm not exposed to a personality, a character,
you're really just a bunch of arial and tahoma ass
niggas to me. so delete me, block me, ignore me,
hate me, you're wasting your time doing anything
regarding me. especially the massive amount of problems
these niggas have, lmao, i'm definetly not the most important
thing, not at all.
proceeds to next blog*
B

tuesday.

i don't even think people read my blog anymore lol,
but it makes me feel better after i write. =]

im sitting here hurting like holy hell.
i have an intense urinary tract infection
and i think something else.
stress on top of just not doing my body right is all adding up.
lord i hope its not something really serious.

tomorrow my mommy has a bone marrow biopsy.
she has multiple myeloma that's cancer of the bone marrow.
im almost certain that she's going to get some
bad test results. i've been stressing her out,
we're having trouble at home and just, shit is
getting really hard right now.

i haven't signed on crushspot in a while, nor do i plan
or signing on. i haven't really been on yahoo either.
i'm trying to stay out of trouble yo.
if you read my blogs, i do have
23823823234-0934-23423487234083
things going on , then all that bullshit drama scene
that is seeming to follow me everywhere.
its really funny though, how people can dish shit out
and act like they are a sweet little angel when the
ball gets in their court.

yes i do a lot of speaking before i think, but if you
really think about it, nothing is a secret really.
if yeen want someone to know, you wouldn't say
anything at all. that's some i said it, i shouldn't
have, but oh well fuck it, type of shit.
that's what i'm on.

i feel bad i opened my mouth?
hell no.
would i do it again?
prolly not.
but when you did the same thing to me, it was okay?
no.
ah, karma is a son of a total bitch.
i really do feel for her situation , but *shrugs shoulders*
its not my problem to deal with.
hope errethang works out well though.
payce.
B*

hoy es lunes.

yay, its monday.
:

yesterday was sunday, tomorrow is tuesday.
today, is a day from heck.
something inside of me , is causing me some terrible pain.
i don't know what it is, i don't know why its doing it,
but i'd be ever so pleased if it stopped.
it has me bent over,twisted, tearing up, and just BLAH.

anyways, i've been enjoying my time with daddy.
he's such a sweet man.
*blushes.

oh yeah, new yahoo.
i wish people would stop thinking they know me.

YOU DON'T KNOW NAN!
lmao.
b r a n d i.

o k l a h o m a !

*clears throat & sings:

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooklahoma,

where the wind comes sweeping down the plaaaaaaaaaains

and the waving wheat, it sure smells sweet, when the when

comes right behind the raaaaaaaaaaaain.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooklahoma,

every night my honeylem and iiiii, sit alone and talk, and watch

the hawk making lazy circles in the skyyyyyyy.

you know we belong to the land, and the land we belong is grand,

so when i saaaaaaaay oh yip i o e aaaaaa, i'm only saying you're

doing fine oklahoma, oklahoma L

O K L A H O M A! oklahoma's o-k.

pardon my rant please. but its almost oklahoma's birthday!

yay, hip hip hooray. oklahoma is gonna be 100 years old.

now excuse me , while i sip my drank. =]

hyper-emotional

you know today was the real icing on the reality cake. i am guilty of being over emotional i know that, you all know that, but i didn't really think about how it affects other people. so i was talking to ellie about a friend of mine, who i kind of noticed withdrawing from me. it was Lorenzo aka Rinsypoo. today he and i talked. ended a year long friendship. why you might ask. because my talking too much, blaiming everything on everyone else, bitching moaning & groaning finally overwhelmed him. friendship came to an end because of me dragging a situation into the ground. like i even ask myself , Brandi why the fuck are you still talking about that, so if i'm sick of talking about it, why the fuck would anyone else want to hear about it? i've already been embursed into my new self and he didn't even get to experience it. but like i told omari, i don't beg anyone to be my friend. i don't beg anyone for anything. if you want to get to know me , its a voluntary thing. i have no intentions to ever lose another friend because of me being too much- emotionally, bitching and moaning too much. that cuts deep. like me being who i don't want to be, being a burden on others. i've had enough. i can run through a list of people who i've affected with my emotions. damn shame. i'm going to let this marinate. rinsy, love you, but shit happens huh. i was talking to my baby, he said babygirl, it all boils down to shit happens and he's right. *this is completely off subject but i see myself loving him. he makes me forget about all the shit that happes, the shit thats going to happen and the shit that has happened. daddy is my breath of fresh air and i love the feeling that he gives me. from the top of my head to the bottom of my feets. and i have big ol feets, lmao. =] <3 so very much, brandi.

its monday.

today is monday.
i'm missing my baby.
i'm missing the people i use to be friends with.
i'm missing high school.
i miss when stuff was easy.
man, growing is a bitch.
i can take it though.

seems like i've lost more friends than i can count,
"friends" i'm doing so much better without.

i use the term friend too lightly.
why would i miss these backstabbing, wreckless talking niggas?
lol for what?
hm i can't think of a motherfucking thing.
she said i'm an emotional wrench.
nah, boo. i'm just past you being the bump in my road.
move around honeypie.

goodluck and good night.
brandizzle .

LMFAO.

i'm at my auntie's house,
lmfao, she playing this ancient ass music,
he calls this woman, he says,
your husband is my wife's boyfriend.
don't get mad honey, get even.

LMFAO.
only black people.
what the hell kinda ghetto shit.

made me smile though and yay Jai-Digga in my box.
i'm happy.

b r a n d i.

so,
i'm not emo anymore.
:)
lmao.
i'm sick of people commenting on my emotions.
so, i've decided, i'm just going to not have any
emotions, reactions, anything. its amazing, how
much easier the past few days have gone.

i like just being brandi and not giving an everlasting
damn about who has something to say, or what they're
saying. i haven't even been on the computer in like four
days. its ridiculous really how much i get on. hell, lots of
these niggas on here , and bitches alike, need to just take
some time to log off, find some friends with flesh, not
just a voice or font, and enjoy the day.

don't get me wrong, you can have a genuine connection
and feeling for someone that you only interact with via
the telefono y computadora but its just not the same.
i'm kinda sick of falling for a voice and font.

bold typing, size one acting niggas.
i wish that everyone else was growing up with me.
but i can't waste time worrying about the ppl who
still want recess. i've moved on to paid breaks,
LMFAO. i really don't have any sense, but i'm
having a good time and enjoying myself.
<3
that's what matters.

HEY GUESS WHAT!
I JUST REALIZED
BRANDI MATTERS.
aw , feels soo motherfcking good.
brandi brandi brandi brandi brandi.
*sips on drank.
hawlurrrrr.

internet.

this is the internet,
nothing is private.

its one thing that i read your blogs,
its another thing that you actually talk about me in them.

please i pray to the lord, direct your attention to the next motherfucker.
i'm sure i'm not the only person on the planet earth that did you dirty.
and if i am, just keep living.

i am so sick of you. so motherfucking sick of all of you.
if you really knew me, you wouldn't have a bad thing to say
at all. yeen even get close to me. you'd think i was your best
friend for seven years then stabbed you in your back or something.

cry a river and float across it, hell even drown in it.
i don't give a fuck.
today will be the last day i care.

brandi?

I have no idea why I've been letting people get the best of me.
There are so many things that I should be worrying about
and taking care of and I'm getting distracted by peoples'
opinions of me. People who don't even fucking know me.
People who I truly don't give a fuck about, are starting to get
to me. That's how I know, this is just going to far.
This is an intervention for myself.

I need to be secure with the facts. I know the facts about Brandi,
because I'm living the life. You niggas who think you know so
much about me are mistaken. I am so very flattered that you
are so occupied with your thoughts and assumptions about me.
You even mention me to people who don't even know me.
That is motherfucking pathetic.

If you hate me that much, or whatever your feelings about me are
move on to someone new, damn. Get off my chest, so I can breathe.
I have more things to worry about than when you're going to talk
about me again or when I'm not going to please someone, and
basically point blank, from this day forth, Monday, October 8th,
I can no longer waste my time with bullshit.

Bullshit being a general term for anything that just is not worth
my time. If you see a change in me, You're finally seeing the real me.
The Brandi that cares about Brandi more than anything else,
that doesn't give a fuck about Tom, Dick or Harry, still have
time to be sweet and caring, but only to those who reciprocate
that feeling. You don't fit into my new mentality or I've
"changed" too much for you?

ask me if i care.
eh, not even in the slightest bit.

domingo.

good morning.

its sunday morning.

Praise the Lord.

Hallelujah.

[mr.brown] THANK YA [/mr.brown]

*time to get ready for che'ch

i love this song.

i don't even know why. i think its so cheesy that i just love it. "first time i felt emotions, was when i came out my mothers womb."

yep, yep.

i talked to my baby allllllllll daaaaaaaaaay.
*blush, blush, blush, blush , blush*
finally.

i needed it. we had fun.
talked about some serious stuff,
then instantly turned it into a joke.
well i just felt the need to say this:

i've fallen & i'm not getting up.

lmao.
thank you ladies and gentlemen.
good-day.
*brandi.bee

heller.

good morning blogspot.

well actually, fuck you all,

hope you didn't sleep well.

=].

i talked to daddy last night.

he could tell that i wasn't ready

for him to go. he always gets to

say bye. i wanna hang up on his

ass some day, lol. -sigh.

daddy: well babygirl, i have to finish up on this work.

me: yeah dave, you go do that.

*he instantly knows im upset*

daddy: honey, i'm sorry i just ..

*i don't even let him finish*

me: baby, its okay , i know you're busy, good night.

daddy: good night baby, i'm gonna try to finish all this work

& i hang up.

why did i do that?

why do i just have to show all my damn feelings all the time?

i can't even hold shit back.

that's a gift and a curse.

i'm glad i can express myself and everything, but

i wish i could keep somethings to myself.

i really like him.

i'm falling haaaaaaaaaard.

i just hope he catches me.

later blog.

good-bye.

sunday, september twenty-third, two thousand and seven;
i brandi ****** browne deleted crushspot.
wow i know after two years on that site, i've decided i've
had more than enough.

certain things have been brought to my attention about
the way people feel about me and the things that i wish
people were open with me about directly, not having to
hear it from "friends."

marcus used to call me a professional lurker, i'm not
sure what that site did to me really. i mean, i'm not
the kind of girl who wants to be all in peoples business,
but people always tell me their shit, they just don't
like to hear my opinion about it.

you go ahead and tell me if that makes sense. . .

yeah okay. that's what i figured.

so many things i thought i was saying in confidence
or to a "friend" have been thrown back in my face.
seriously, seriously, seriously, from my heart
i need people to know this about me,

I, Brandi ****** Browne,
I do not give a fuck about these people when i sign off.
If I have let you into my personal life , seemed to some
what attempt to develop a friendship with you and you
take it for granted, by giving your opinion about me to
other people, when it wasn't asked for, you feel the need
to discuss my actions with others, you get the balls to
say everything that you feel about me to everyone about
me, but at the end of the day, you still feel like I'm the one
who cares too much about your daily activities.
Take a moment to think about who seems to care more.
I forget your ass when I log off.

Yes I am upset.
I'm flattered that everyone thinks all I have to do is think about
them and their e-this and their e-that everyday.
Motherfucker please.
Give me a break.

*to be continued. .

lonely.

today just feels like, i'm gonna be lonely.

didn't talk to him yesterday. i'm not sure

how i feel about it. i miss him. i just want

some attention.

blushes*

i'm sitting here with daddy on the brain.
*blushes.
we talked for a little bit last night.
i've been so busy with school and work
and our schedules have been conflicting,
so i'm really glad that we talked last night.

i'm such a dork.
i get all all cheesy when i hear his voice.
i know that i start blushing and smiling
from ear to ear. lmao.
i can't help it. he just has that affect on me.
i'm not complaining one little bit.

we talked about marriage last night.
not to each other, but just our ideas and views
about it. we share similiar ideas about it.
i personally can't wait to love someone forever,
wake up next to them everyday, fall asleep
next to them every night. -sigh-
i'm excited to be a Mrs. Daddy or whoever
that lucky man will be someday =].

enough mushy stuff.
B.

jena six.

Jena Six.
I'm not one really to talk about political this or that,
or to see the black & white in things. I know that
America still has a LOT of growing up to do & that
we as a country truly aren't the "United States".


Many of the country doesn't even know about the
Jena Six incident that happened in Jena, Louisiana.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YuoiZnr4jLY
Watch that if you don't already know.


America is so quick to act as if racisim doesn't
still exist. The sad reality is that it does, it may
not be as out in the open as it was when blacks
were getting lynched, or when indians walked
the trail of tears, or when japanese were being
targeted in California, but its still going on.


People are so quick to make this a "black and white"
thing. Its an America thing. We always turn our heads
away from events that don't make America look pretty.
I'm sorry but underneath those stars and stripes,
are a lot of hidden secrets and sad stories.


This particulary touches my heart because I don't
understand how today, 2007, people still act shocked
that things like this are going on. Get past the shock,
and wake up. This event was just brought up and its been
going on for over a year. It hasn't been on major news shows,
it hasn't even been on OPRAH. Its a damn shame.


I'm not sure what I can do about it besides tell everyone that
I know about the terrible situation. Wear my "Free the Jena Six"
shirt and hope that someone asks what its all about. These are
six young men, who finally stood up for themselves. Do I think
it was right for them to beat the kid up? No, but obviously right
or wrong doesn't apply to their case.


Let's look at the wrongs:
1: A student feels uncomfortable enough to ask the principal
if he can sit under a tree. That's just not right.
2: Nooses hanging in the tree the next day, in their SCHOOL
COLORS so obviously they were proud of the racist statement
they were making.
3: Kid gets beat up at a party.
4: MAN tries to shoot young men. They take the gun to the police
station and get charged. Since when are criminals bold enough to
turn themselves in? Give me a break.
5: Six kids beating another kid. Now that isn't right, but its like those
kids don't have anyone supporting them. They had to take their
rights in their own hands. They stood up for themselves and look
where they are now.
6: Being tried for attempted murder, when the kid only received a
black eye. I'm sure if they were trying to kill him, they would've.
Being tried as adults, for a school fight. That shows right there, that
they are still "children" therefore, charge them as children.
They don't even deserve a charge. Suspend them from school maybe
but jail? Seriously.
Where are the kids sentences who hung the nooses?
Where is the man that had the gun in the store?
Where are the kids who beat the kid up?


Oh you don't know? That's my point exactly.


Free the Jena six & Wake America UP.


thank you.
-a concerned citizen.

make-up.

today i will be making up for the blogs that i missed.

so yay.

i haven't blogged in a while.

i haven't really been talking to the people that i blog about

that much either, lmao, so today's blogs will not consist

of all those inside jokes and such... blah.

let me get to writing.

:magic:

[=

weirdo.

okay.

this is really bothering the living shit out of me.

antonio, whom i really do like a lot, he's a nice kid.

we're friends, he has mad fan signs from me. we just

enjoy one another, right, well that's what i thought

until about fifteen minutes ago.

Brandi*: you think im weird.

Brandi*: =\ how do i change that?

Antonio.: i don't think u really know to say whats on ur mind, or express urself "good".

Antonio.: &.. at times.. ur just.. random..

Antonio.: like.. ur convo's doesn't connect..

Antonio.: on everything i love.. i'm not trying to be mean at all..

Antonio.: just sayin'.. that's how i percieve u as being.

Antonio.: u still cool peoples in my eyes =]

Brandi*: =\

he calls me weird kinda often, but we still have very good conversation.

i mean i feel like i've opened up to him about some things that are on my

mind. i know i am somewhat reserved towards him, but that's only because

i don't want him calling me weird. i feel like i am myself though and i don't

have any issues with that. i truly feel down right offended.

and the funny thing is, i feel bad for being offended, because that was not his intention.

Antonio,

I know you were just saying what's on your mind

and really i promise, that's just fine.

but being the person that i am, i take things too seriously

and let them get out of hand.

so im taking this moment, to say to you, that i'd like

to say some things that are true:

i am random, i am reserved, i send gms , i may get on your nerves

i'm not always "all there" i' have a lot on my mind,

but i haven't done anything to you , not even one time.

so maybe you're opinion of me can be changed,

i'd like to put this on your brain;

get to know me better and you will see,

there is a lot more to Brandi.

okay, more blogging later

kimipoo.

i love kimi, seriously.

she's like , the most hilarious person i know,

well of course besides myself.

she is a true friend.

we personally haven't had a fight or

anything, but we sure have had a lot

of shit happen to us individually.

people tell us so much shit.

its hilarious.

kimi is like

[inserts gay homo sweet shit here]

the best ever.

QWERTY!!

ernesto.

i know this is random as hell.

but i was kinda missing Ernest, or whoever that
fake nigga is. lmao. damn shame. i miss a fake.

straight face inserted here

thursday.

well, its thursday.

i didn't blog yesterday.

sue me.

anyways, i talked to daddy yesterday.

i needed to hear his voice, i'm glad i did.

i feel some kinda of distance from my baby though.

no babygirl, just brandi these days.

flirting is down to an all time low.

conversation is okay,

more brandi, when it used to be more daddy.

but, i'm still really happy to be talking to him period.

it hurts, cuz i feel like he hurts.

it hurts, cuz i feel like he's holding back.

it just plain hurts.

i've been trying to get everyone to listen to "quickie"

thanks drey, jacked the song from you son.

i can't relate to the song persay, but i like the words.

particularly this line:

"i don't wanna be loved, i don't wanna be loved,

i just want a quickie."

how simple would shit be if people didn't want love, or need to

feel love? hell, i wish i had that problem. but i'm stuck with

the feelings that i have. i, brandi nicole . . . . . . , yearn for

constant reassurance that i'm not alone in a crush, alone

in a relationship, alone in a friendship.

i, brandi, the only child doesn't do well with

being alone.

go figure.

i talked to tallassjay on the phone for the first time last night.

jay: hello

brandi: hey jay, its brandi

jay: who

brandi: brandi!

jay: who

brandi: you know brandi, high.yella. come on jay.

jay: oh, what up.

LMFAO.

damn shame. lets see if call that nigga again.

we did bond yesterday. it was nice.

he's a cool kid & his lovely lady with the

pixelized face is pretty cool, as well.

well i'm gonna go get a snack now.

toodles tots.

-brrrrrrandi*

apology.

i've been telling you i'm sorry since four this morning

and i mean it everytime i say it.

i am more than sorry about what i've done.

i told him that i can't talk to him, that i have

no interest in him, i told him that i'm all about

YOU.

i don't know what to say besides , i feel you in my

heart. i care about you so much, i enjoy every time

that i talk to you. i think about you all the time.

you make my days go by easier and i just can't

imagine you taking all of that away.

baby, i know i hurt you and i am sorry. i just

need to know what it takes to make you okay

and prove that i am ready and willing to do whatever

i have to do. i had no intentions of hurting you

and i never want to hurt you again.

i just want you to be as happy as i am.

i'm crying out, i hope you hear me baby.

deleted.

i made the decision to delete him & that blog.

if you missed it, that's for the better.

i'm just sitting here, wishing i could go back,

but i can't. so with hopes of moving forward,

i deleted the blog & let that motherfucker go.

tuesday.

sunday, monday, tuesday.

third day in a row of my good mood.

third day out of the rest of my life.

brandi is a changing lady,

and its about time.

no more of my mood changing like the season;

lol. if you know me, you know what i mean.

anyhoo,

didn't quite get to talk to daddy last night.

he has so much going on right now &

it's all good. i understand. i'd rather him

be a busy man, then a lazy nigga.

i really hope you noticed the difference in that.

****************************************************

anyways, jason is really kinda gettin on my nerves.

i told him i would call him and sing to him, then he

just gonna start singing, then when i was finally ready

"brandi i'll call you back"

did he? no. am i surprised? NO!

lmao. ugh.

i'm doing so good without the burden of trying

to hold on to friendships that i just KNOW aren't

there anymore. it feels good, not to worry about

those niggas. i wish them all well. i'm sure their

having a wonderful time not having to ignore me

or my calls or texts or whatever kind of ways i

attempted to contact them. yes, my phonebook

is kinda slim now, lol, but its okay. i like it better, ♥.

lemme get back to work though.

i'll blog more this afternoon.

later folks,

-signed the lady

previously known as

emotional overload.

evenin folks.

jai booskie is like totally HATING on my play list.
"BRANDI YOU'RE GEEKED"
damn right i am!
what you gonna do about it JAI?! nada.
keep makin stats about our geeked asses *blushes, lmao.

anyhoo, drey got me working like a slave,
mind you i am a house nigga, since he found out
i can work fileden.
me and my big mouth.

anyways, i caaaaaaaaaaaaaaan

noooooooooooooot

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait

to talk to daddy tonight.

mmmm.

we've been texting all day

*drops mic*

you guys think what you wanna think.
wink motherfucking wink!

buenos tardes.

afternoon folks.

i'm having a lovely day.

i had a lovely lunch.

i plan on having a lovely night,

no one is going to mess that up.

blah its like 1:28 everyone is leaving me,

so i guess i'll write this damn blog.

*an hour later*

im so damn itchy. i think i'm having an allergic reaction

to the headphones i wear at school. feels like my face

is burning. -sigh- eh school sucks, but atleast its free.

i'm having such a hard time trying to concentrate.

so many things are running through my mind.

i've let a lot of people go this week, without letting them know that i'm

just sick of them and their bullshit. so i'm trying to figure out how i'm going

to react if and when they attempt to contact me.

eric and i aren't friends anymore.

manny and i aren't friends anymore.

katherine and i aren't friends anymore.

reese and i aren't friends anymore.

qadir and i aren't friends anymore.

well i'm not sure.

i've given him a week without trying to ..interrupt him and

he hasn't really talked to me first, which is all i wanted.

i refuse to give anymore more time than they give me.

and the list goes on. what's a friend anyways?

nowadays seems like people just want you around

to tell them what they want to hear. well i hate to burst

your motherfucking bubbles, but i'm not gonna just be the

type of friend who says what you want to hear,

i'm the type of lady who says what you need to hear.

even if its something that i shouldn't say.

i told drey i was going to stop being a "captain save a ho".

it does get pretty draining. i'm just gonna let these niggas get their

hearts broken. they only want me for what i know anyways.

fuck them, fuck them all.

i don't have time to give them all the information that

their bitches should've given them.

plus i have better things to do,

like be good to the people who are good to me.

just wanna list a few names. <3

kimipoo, daddy, hot chocolate, rinsypoo, dreydiggity,

jaibaby, hotcakes, nightie, ellie, rina & pablo.

thats enough for now.

well this is my longest blog so far. don't bitch about it,

just read it. its my motherfucking blog anyways!

lmao !

hollllllllllller,

brandi f. baby.

release.

well that was some good chocolate cake. mmmmm.

now that's im all happy and everything, i've decided to blog.

my booskie, Jai, has been blogging all day, lol.

she's so happy she found her password & as soon as i

figure out how to work this crap, i'll link her blog.

i feel, like an old ass woman who doesn't know anything about the interent , when i get on this site.

:

anyways, my babe, donte, helped me feel alot better.

its time to let emmanuel go. goodbye nigga, hope you miss me.

i would say you were a waste of my time, but that'd be a lie.

i'm not even sad or anything. just upset you thought lying was the answer.

i'm talking to daddy right now.

he's making me feel all blushymushy.

he is very very very very very very good at that.

^_^

today has been a pretty good day honestly.

i've learned a lot of things about myself.

i'm finally becoming the Brandi i want to be.

hope that doesn't leave you in the dust.

;]

that's all kiddos.

hollerrrrrr.

second.

enough of that. so "daddy" as i like to call him,

tells me " i got him". i felt my heart skip a beat.

isn't that sweet guys.

*moment of silence for brandi's happiness*

lmao, thanks.

ooh i made a new friend today. she's freakin hilarious.

my booskie, jai.

lmao@ sinbad. ah, she seems mad cool. not on that bullshit, like most

of the bitches i know these days. that's why i have to just do me & fuck the rest.

i'd like to say this, i am a good friend, i'm a great person.

if you know me, you know that's true.

if you don't know me, get to

and if you don't want to , well, POO on you!

night babies*

-brandiiiiiiiiii

brandi, basically.

My first blog, how lovely.

the name is brandi.

people who know me call me bee, brandi bee, B, lol, lots of different names.

i'm nineteen, currently residing in oklahoma city.

i go to school every single day of the week.

monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday.

ooh i work. i like my job, i'm just not sure how long i plan on staying there lol.

i'm like.. super tall. i have a lovely smile.

hell, i think i'm a pretty girl,i just don't like when others disagree. [=

i decided to make this blog, because, i always ALWAYS have something on my mind.

hmm, i like this guy. he's pretty spiffy. i usually talk talk talk talk talk , but for the

first time, in a long time, i just like to listen to every single thing he has to say.

he's a very interesting individual to say the least. *blushes

i have every intention to keep him around for a while.

but hey, i have to get ready for work*

hasta luego, blog.

-B!